Trusting the Process

I occasionally feel lost and confused in my spiritual journey. It’s a disconcerting feeling and I always end up questioning myself. Am I making all this up? Is it real or just my imagination? Maybe I am crazy. 

I have learned, however, that the confusion clears and I end up with a great insight or new understanding. 

The first few times it happened were the hardest, because I didn’t know what was happening. Now I know, and it only takes me a few hours or a day to identify the feeling. Then I can relax and just let the realizations show themselves to me. A few days and I’m back to certainty.

It has taken me a long time to trust this process, and I still struggle with it. It is getting easier and I now welcome it (eventually).

Lately, I’ve been in this state of confusion for longer than usual. Normally it lasts a few days, maybe a week. This time it has been several weeks.

I know the reasons for it. I was reading and listening to podcasts about spirituality. I tend to avoid doing this because it does cause a lot of confusion, and I like to get my information from my own guides. Even though what my guides tell me can be confusing, it’s usually presented in small chunks so I can absorb it fairly quickly. And I trust them. When I do listen to others, it takes a while to make sense of the ideas and decide whether or not I accept them.

I also went on a shamanic healing retreat recently. It was a wonderful weekend of meditation, journeying, and healing. I got a lot out of it and am very glad I participated in it. But a lot was stirred up and I’m still trying to process all of it. 

I know I will come out of this funk. And when I do I will have made some big strides forward in my journey. 

I just have to trust the process.