Spiritual Growth

What does spiritual growth mean? What is spiritual development? For a long time I wondered, “Is my spirit in need of developing? Does it need to grow? What does that even mean? Is there something wrong with my spirit?” I now believe that the phrases “spiritual growth” and “spiritual development” are misleading. It’s not about my spirit changing or growing - Spirit is perfect - but about me connecting with my spirit, allowing my spirit to become more apparent, more predominant, more available to me more often.

Spiritual growth and spiritual development (really the same thing) mean growing into my spirit, developing my connection with my spirit. This is not an easy task. At least, it wasn’t easy for me. I have spent years, decades! searching, questioning, reading and studying. (Crying, too. There has been lots of crying.)

I can say without a doubt it is worth it. Every. Single. Second.

So what is the spirit? How do I get in touch with it? And why do I want to anyway? All great questions!

I believe my spirit is what connects me to God, the universe, nature and everyone on the planet. My spirit is a piece of God, of Source. It is what I truly am, what I am made from. Love. Light. Compassion. Wisdom… Connecting with this piece of me has been an amazing, wonderful experience.

It took a long time to get to this place. I traveled far and wide in my journey, trying to find the “thing” that would fill the longing I had. And then it happened. Quietly, easily. Once I made the connection it seemed so simple. I thought, “why didn’t I see this before? Why did I have to go through all these years searching and struggling?”

I don’t know.

I have heard of those who have had profound experiences of instant understanding without the years of searching and struggling. (Unfortunately, not my story.) But then the story of Buddha describes how he spent years searching for answers and couldn’t find them. He finally stopped searching, sat down under a tree and Bam! There they were!

I don’t presume that what I have found is “IT”. I know there is more - always more. But even if I never get any farther than where I am now in my spiritual development, I can honestly say that this is a great place to be!

I wish I could say I had a formula, a step-by-step curriculum that I could share. I don’t believe that’s possible. I think we all have to find our own way. However, I do know that some things helped me get a little closer, a little faster.

Meditation is important. I have to have time when I force myself to stop everything. When I sit under the tree like Buddha. When I visit the quiet place inside where I can connect with my spirit.

Trusting my intuition is essential. Intuition is the ability to get the messages that my spirit sends me. It’s connecting with the spirit guides who are always with me and becoming aware of their help. Sometimes the messages come as visions, quick flashes that present information or solutions. Sometimes I hear a voice. Sometimes I get “gut feelings”. Sometimes someone says something or I hear a song on the radio or read something that answers a question I had. All of this is intuition, and trusting my intuition was vital for me to move forward in my journey.

Being willing to give up the thoughts, beliefs, attitudes and habits that rule my life is a requirement for growth. In order to grow, I have to change. I learned, though, that I can’t just say I’m going to change, I can’t just decide I’m not going to think or believe something any more, I can’t just repeat affirmations. There is a lot of soul-searching involved. A lot of diving deep to uncover those long-held beliefs and attitudes, the benefits they provide me (even if they are negative benefits - especially if they are negative!) and being honest with myself about my willingness to let them go. I find that once I am aware of them and have looked at them honestly and from all sides, they usually dissipate on their own. It’s like shining a light in the darkness.

Having people in my life with whom I can share all of these crazy, wonderful experiences has also been invaluable. My sister and friends (thank you all!) have allowed me to put into words and explore ideas that help me understand what I am experiencing and learning. Sometimes saying things out loud makes them more real.

I also journal as a way of putting ideas into words and making sense of what’s happening. (Because, really, some things are just too crazy to say out loud!)

I still struggle with life. I still feel fear and doubt, sadness and anger. But I am so grateful for this journey, as difficult and confusing and frustrating as it has been, because I also feel Whole. Joyful. Peaceful. And isn’t this what we all are searching for?